We’ve discussed before how social dynamics education for young men in nerd subcultures is broken. It’s rife with ulterior motives and quick solutions to superficial problems, rather than actually teaching how social dynamics work.
Learning social skills is a long and methodical process and, if we’re being realistic, you can actually get pretty far using anime, manga, VNs, and light novels as self-study material if you know how to look at them the right way.
Here are some recommendations to get you started:
Amagami SS
Amagami SS explores six different relationships and the dynamics of the characters therein, each creating in four episodes a more fleshed-out and believable relationship than many anime manage in twelve.
Pay close attention to Junichi and how his interactions differ from person to person. In addition, take note of how the characters resolve conflicts. The interpersonal conflict resolution in Amagami SS is particularly mature and a good model for how to handle interpersonal conflict.
Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai
Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai certainly contains some magical realism, but the human social dynamics at play are quite realistic and handled extremely well.
The personal conflict resolution in this series is even stronger than in Amagami, especially when it comes to the main relationship between Sakuta and Mai. The two have a very mature relationship, and the way they interact with one another is well worth paying very close attention to.
My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU
A surprisingly down-to-earth examination of social dynamics from the perspective of a cynical loner with a knack for social perception gained purely from observing other people from the sidelines.
Don’t internalize Hachiman’s cynicism, but do pay close attention to his analyses of people’s motivations. They’re routinely pretty spot-on, and understanding people’s motivations can go a long way to becoming successful with people.
Stella Women’s Academy
Airsoft might seem like a weird choice for a “girl coming out of her shell” type of story, but it’s actually perfect, especially for such a shy main character.
You practice to get better. This is true for any skill, including social skills. But part of the reason people don’t see social skills as “skills” is, where do you practice social skills?
The answer is airsoft.
Airsoft is an environment that forces you to interact and communicate with strangers regularly, but is low-stakes enough that failure isn’t a big deal. And it’s accessible. Many airsoft fields will rent equipment for a fee, so you can get into the game without committing hundreds on a full loadout.
Bottom-tier Character Tomozaki
If you try one work from this list, make Bottom-tier Character Tomozaki that work. It’s the most “Iyashikei.moe” work I’ve come across so far and gives real, practical perspectives and exercises on improving social skills.
Pay close attention to Aoi’s philosophies on social interaction and the exercises she gives Tomozaki. They’re extremely practical. I won’t spoil it, but suffice it to say, Aoi is isn’t just a popular girl who just happens to be good at videogames.